Welcome back to the 1st Law Newsletter.

I really don’t know what to write about most of the time. I just sit down and write.

Shadow work (a.k.a. self work/ reflection)

I have been trying to be reflective recently. Some questions I have been asking myself include:

What are my fears? (what trauma do I have?, what vices do I have/ have I had and why?)

What am I obsessed with? (what would i get a PhD in for fun?, what would I continue to do if there was risk of bodily harm or death?, what would I do everyday if I had 1 trillion dollars in my bank account?)

How do I perform? (reader vs listener?, how do I learn?, how do I work?, decision maker or advisor?)

What are my strengths? (what do i have an advantage in? what do i get complimented for? genetic potential? what problems have i solved (without being asked)? previous 'wins' of my life? )

What are my values? (what do i get emotional about? what do i hate?, what makes me cry? )

I have a GitHub document going so I can access this note form home and from work lol. Anytime I think of something to add I just jot it down quickly. What do I hope to gain from doing this? Just knowing myself better. I want to understand why I am the way I am, and what I should do with my time to feel the most fulfillment.

Random Thoughts

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Whats better for raising kids: having them grow up in a metropolis? Or having them grow up in a rural town where they can wander alone safely until sunset? I am a believer in public schools. What are ‘fail-safe’ childhood activities? (I’m thinking gymnastics and swimming). Honestly, randomness might have such a high impact on all of our lives that these things matter less than I think. For example, I wonder how much something as natural as our names have impacted our personalities and how we have lived our lives ( I bet a kid named Chad had a very different experience than a kid named Aristotle).

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What am I missing in my life? Like, will there ever a point where I am going to wake up and just be… content? Where I don’t long for anything else? Where I am not jealous of this persons car, or that house, or that job… Honestly, there might not be. If I can understand that wanting and overthinking and desire are natural aspects of human life, I can try to design my life such that my desires are good for me and for the world.

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I lack purpose. But that’s okay, I am searching.

Quote to go

Thanks for reading!

Lucas